Positive Thinking - Our Focus Decides Which World We Live In

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back!
Don't expect love in return;
Just wait for it to grow in their heart,
But if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

Positive thinking doesn´t always come easily. I believe that positive thinking is a habit we need to cultivate in order for that thinking pattern to become a natural part of our inner dialog. The most common way of talking to ourselves is usually negative; "I´m not good enough, I always fail, I´m too poor" etc.

But the truth is that we create our reality ourselves. Our focus decides which world we live in. Do I want to remain trapped in negativity and attract bad things and people into my world? Or do I prefer thoughts which have a positive effect on me and my life?

The answer is obvious, but reaching a certain level of positive thinking requires a certain amount of practise, just like any other skill.

Don´t always speculate about the worst possible outcome. Make it a habit to speculate about the best possible outcome instead. That is what visualization and affirmations do. They both send signals to our mind and instruct it to act in accordance with our focus.

Therefore, if we focus on pain, we will produce more pain for ourselves and those around us. If we focus on angry people, we will have conflicts. Accordingly, if we focus on happiness, we will see possibilities. Our focus decides which world we live in.

There are some useful mental excercises for turning negative thought patterns into positive ones:

1. Select something in your life that you aren´t totally happy about.
For example: You dislike your job and are into the habit of repeating "I hate my job" or something similar like "I´m exhausted" to yourself.

2. Write down the opposite of that.
For example: "I love my job" or "I am full of energy".

3. Sit down, relax, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Now create a vivid image of the positive statement you just wrote down. Use all senses.
For example: Where are you? What sounds are there? How do you feel? What do you do? What does it look like?

Hopefully you feel totally good about the positive image.
Do this excercise daily. It is especially good to practice this in a relaxed state before going to sleep.

This is one step towards changing our negative thoughts into positive thinking. Our focus decides which world we live in. More on steps towards positive thinking coming shortly here on this personal development blog.

"The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible." (Benjamin Franklin)

Change Is Inevitable Anyway

It's true that we don't know
What we've got until it's gone,
But it's also true that we don't know
What we've been missing until it arrives.

In another blog post I have already talked about the fear of change and why we often avoid it in order to avoid pain. Or at least that´s what we think we do. But as a matter of fact change is inevitable. I like to say that "the only thing that doesn´t change is change itself".

Consequently, change is natural, developing and something to strive for. Just think of Universe itself. EVERYTHING in Universe changes constantly. There is nothing which remains the same forever.

Thinking about the renewal of cells is exciting! We tend to treat ourselves as static bodies, but that is far from the truth. According to research, 98% of all the cells in our bodies are renewed every year! I really think that´s a fascinating piece of information.

Moreover, our bones renew themselves every three months, the liver every six weeks and our skin every month! So how come that we fear changes in our lives? Change is inevitable anyway.

One point to consider is a basic human behavior which Tony Robbins describes in many of his programs and audios.

According to Tony Robbins all humans are controlled by two emotions: the sensation of fear or pleasure. Robbins means that all decisions we make, big or small, are defined by one of these two emotions. We either make a decision because we sense that it will lead to pleasure or help us avoid pain.

Knowing that, it becomes a bit clearer why we stick to familiar things and avoid change to such a big extent. So if we´ve been through something painful in the past, we will avoid decisions which may lead to similar situations or pain and as a result not welcome the changes that could instead lead to pleasure.

We cling to what we know and what we consider familiar, not fully realizing that change is (as we´ve just seen examples of!) inevitable anyway.

Everything changes all the time.
It is the resistance of the constant change which leads to problems.

The are two basic concepts here: circulation or stagnation.
Circulation is natural and constant. It´s Nature´s intention.
Stagnation is the opposite.

So next time you find yourself clinging to the familiar, avoiding challenges or development. Just remind yourself of the fact that circulation (change) is the only constant factor in Universe!

"Nothing endures but change." (Heraclitus of Ephesus)

I Love Monday Mornings!

It is no secret that Tony Robbins is a great inspiration in my life. He has helped thousands of people overcoming obstacles which stopped them from living life to its fullest. And the thing that stops up the most, is our own thoughts about ouselves. The art of positive thinking is a fine art indeed.

Too often we let a negative monolog play in our minds. And with negative thoughts, we create negative expectations upon ourselves and consequently bad results.

A great exercise which I picked up from Tony Robbins´ works is his five "morning questions". The things you tell yourself in the morning, affect the rest of your day. Therefore, we need to get out of the bad habit of feeding ourselves negativity as soon as we wake up: "Oh no! I´m so tired and I don´t want to get up! I hate Monday mornings and I hate the traffic and my horrible boss. Etc, etc"

First of all you need to become aware of the pattern of negativity. You will notice that you think roughly the same things every single morning. What a waste! There is so much untapped potential in our minds, so let´s not waste it in vain.

The trick is to train your brain new patterns. Exchange the negative statements with positive ones. Yes, I´ve written about this before, but it really is basic positive thinking. So no harm in repeating it again.

Back to Tony Robbins´ five morning questions. Their purpose is to get ourselves in a positive state of mind each morning. So before you get up, ask yourself:

1. What am I proud of in my life?

2. What am I grateful for?

3. Who loves me and whom do I love?

4. What is wonderful about my present situation?

5. What can I do today to improve my life?

After about ten days of daily asking and answering these questions, you will have established much more positive morning habits and thinking patterns. In other words, you are on your way to positive thinking.

Consequently, you will reach the point when you surprise yourself by saying each morning:

"Yes! I am full of energy and I look forward to getting up! I love Monday mornings and I love travelling to work and meet my collegues and new challenges!"

It would be great to hear what you think of this! Feel free to post your replies. :)

"A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes." (Mahatma Gandhi)

Do Nothing - Gain Everything!

The best kind of people,
Is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with,
Never say a word,
And then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.


There are many techniques for improving your mental strength. I´ve learned a few from practicing martial arts for many years.

All martial arts are about focus, concentration and acting at the right moment - and remaining passive at other moments. A common misconception is that martial arts are always violent. No wonder when you consider the amount of movies on that theme!

But the movies are often far from the truth. To me, real martial arts involve hard excercise and a huge amount of discipline. And that discipline can be transferred to other areas of your life too.

As soon as you have learned to focus and use your ability to concentrate, you can use it to reach your goals. But beware! Some days you will find yourself in tune with that sense of flow and connection with Universe. That is wonderful.

Other days, however, you will sense a total lack of connection and concentration. Often you will have no idea of why this happens.

And this is where a technique from the world of martial arts comes in; if you feel "lost", stop and wait.
Do nothing!

Doing nothing at all is a good remedy for loss of focus.

Our world today is full of "outer" activities: doing, doing, doing. Unfortunately, we rarely pay much attention to our "inner" activities. We must remember however, that we are human beings, not human doings!

But the real source of action is not "out there". It comes from within each of us. That is how Universe works.

To sum it up, if you feel burdened with outer pressure, take a step back and do nothing. You will discover what goes on inside of you, mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally.

And as that takes place, you find out what you fight against, what you really want, if you´re doing what you really want, if you´re following your heart´s desire or any number of other things.

It sounds weird perhaps, but it is a simple technique. No need for equipment or gurus. Just sit down in a quite place and stay there as long as you need to. You need it to regain your focus! Once you are focused, you rule your world. Hence the title: "Do Nothing - Gain Everything!"

"Silence is the true friend that never betrays." (Konfucius)

My Best Cold Cure: An Uncluttered Connection With Universe!

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone,
An hour to like someone,
And a day to love someone,
But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

The human body is an amazing creature! It seems that nobody can fully understand its functions. The same thing is true of the human mind.

It strucks me from time to time that it is so fascinating the way human beings explore outer space, transplant organs and engage in the manipulation of genes and DNA, while science has not found a cure for a common cold...

Yes, yes, there are lots of explanations that we have all heard about viruses versus bacteria/germs. Doctors usually claim that a common cold is caused by a virus and cannot be treated. Many times I have heard statements like "An untreated cold takes 2 weeks to go away - and a treated cold takes 14 days!"

Well, that is exactly the kind of brain wash that we should all avoid like the plague! I am becomming more and more convinced that our mental power can in fact make us well, allow us to stay well and help us avoid illness.

The reason I am saying this is that our bodies have an amazing ability to heal. And no one can fully comprehend how!

Think of a broken bone. A doctor puts the parts together, but the actual healing is taken care of by the body. It is magical! Then we are told that it takes a certain number of weeks for the bones to repair themselves, but just imagine that nobody even gave us that piece of information...

Some years ago, I read the book "Mutant Message Down Under" by Marlo Morgan, in which she describes a situation where her aboriginal friend in Australia broke his leg during an extreme walkabout in the desert. The shaft of the bone was visable through the skin of the leg. The injured person himself, stuffed the bones back in place. And the next day, they continued their walk!

It does sound too incredible to be true, but I don´t really care if it is true or not. My point is that we ought to train ourselves to think more of the possibilities, than the so called impossible. The reason is that if we do not feed negative beliefs into our heads, we will develop strong positive beliefs instead.

Consequently, if you have never exposed yourself to other people´s distorted belief systems, you will have an uncluttered connection with Universe and its powers which none of us can fully understand.

All in all, we should all trust our instincts much more. Animals know instinctively what to do if they get injured.

You too can pay closer attention to the subtle signals which comes from deep inside of you. And as you do and follow these signals, positive changes are bound to take place, both in your outer and inner realities.

"Really, the fundamental, ultimate mystery -- the only thing you need to know to understand the deepest metaphysical secrets -- is this: that for every outside there is an inside and for every inside there is an outside, and although they are different, they go together." (Alan Watts)

Carpe diem - seize the day! I mean, really!

The happiest of people
Don't necessarily have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

"Carpe Diem" has become almost a cliché nowadays. But today I had an experience which truly made me recite the famous Latin words of Horace more than once...

One of my neighbors is an elderly man who lives by himself. This afternoon I was working at my computer and our two kids were playing in the garden, just outside my window.

Suddenly their laughter was broken by frantic calls for help; "Daddy! Help us, he´s fallen, he´s not moving!"

I ran out and found my neighbor on the ground, just outside his garage. He seemed lifeless at first and my kids looked frightened.

Two other adults were standing a short distance away, but they were paralysed. I guess that happens with people sometimes in serious situations, that you just freeze and become passive instead of taking action.

Anyway, I called at them for help, and we got my neighbor up on his feet again. While trying to get on his bike, he had slipped on the icy ground and fallen flat on the ground, face down.

I stayed with him for some time, helped him back to his house, went to buy him the newspaper he had wanted to buy himself, cycling to the store. And I was so moved by the incident.

My 80-year-old neighbor told me "I used to be able to do that. I used to be able to ride my bike. I couldn´t manage it anymore..." He was sad. I was too, for his sake.

Later the same afternoon, I told our son and daughter that this is the way life goes. One day we are old and then maybe we cannot do the things we once could.

I told them to play and have fun. To laugh and enjoy every single moment in life, because one day it will be over.

Of course I didn´t really need to tell them. Children have that fantasic ability to play, laugh, have fun and enjoy life naturally, thank God! My little speech to them was more a reminder to myself to really seize the day, Carpe Diem.

So my message to you today is this; life is too short for pain, for negativity, for illness and for sadness.

Life is supposed to be lived to its fullest, so do the things you want to do, and that you can do and that you are able to do today. Because one day you might sit there like my neighbor saying "I used to be able to ride my bike." And then it is all too late.

Live in happiness.

"You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle." (Paulo Coelho)